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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476206">I Was An Island</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burntcactii/pseuds/Burntcactii'>Burntcactii</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Titans (Animated Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, This could theoretically be labeled as Slow Burn but only barely, lots of brief hints toward Joey adopting Tibetan culture in general, they're just dumb and in love okay? not yet but they will be, uhh tags for Kyd being a thief? Of both priceless artifacts and Joey's frail heart, will update tags as I update the fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:46:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,170</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burntcactii/pseuds/Burntcactii</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"-'fore you came along. Put your boat in my sand, hand in my hand, your heart in my songs."</p><p>or </p><p>Jericho has been alone for a long, long time. Long enough he's maybe willing to overlook that the whimsical stranger with stories of the world is also a thief. </p><p>Kyd has been a wanderer for a long time. Long enough he's willing to go out of his way to entertain the boy in the mountains who looks at him with admiration and awe instead of fear.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyd Wykkyd/Joseph Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I Was An Island</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kyd didn’t know why he was up here. One second he was booking it down a wet alleyway away from Kid Flash with a stolen bag and serpent cane in hand, the next his eye caught some pro-recycling poster and he used all his strength to teleport… somewhere. The dark rain of the alleyway became an almost painfully bright light which led to the most endless blue sky he’d ever seen. </p><p>Kyd wasn’t one for nature. He’d grown up surrounded by people his entire life. Granted, they were people from all over the globe. Half the stars you were able to make out through the smog or the trees or the canopy, depending on where he was, were just passing airplanes. There was noise, so much constant noise, it’s what made him so good at listening. But Kyd listened now and he heard nothing. </p><p>Nothing but a slow, steady guitar. </p><p>Kyd found it didn’t bother him too much, so he finally let himself slump against a tree stump he’d come out near. Normally Kyd would always be hyper aware of the sound he made, but he didn’t feel the need to here. It was so peaceful, so isolated. He let himself huff and catch his breath as loud as he wanted. </p><p>After a bit of closing his eyes and seeming to drift away in the distant guitar’s tune, Kyd jerked himself up before he could fall asleep and let his guard completely down. Kyd ignored the allure of the landscape, tracking the source of the soft music. </p><p>Kyd winded through the mountain until he came to a small clearing with a large boulder that looked like it had been purposefully placed there. It was far too large to have been moved by the petite person sitting cross legged on top of it, but he supposed strength could be deceiving. Kyd slowly circled the clearing through the trees, climbing silently from branch to branch and keeping his head low. </p><p>It was a boy.</p><p>A...cute, boy. </p><p>A sad one, too. </p><p>The longer he strummed the guitar, the sadder and emptier the tune seemed to get. His eyes, striking green, seemed to grow duller and duller. </p><p>He looked tired. </p><p>Kyd had let his guard down for too long. In trying to get a closer look, letting himself get drawn into those eyes, he momentarily forgot his own balance and came tumbling down from the tree. The boy whipped around and Kyd expected a fight, but he didn’t seem hostile at all. He seemed confused, surprised- awestruck if anything. </p><p>Kyd slowly stood up as to not initiate a fight of any kind. Hostility was just a given when you lived a life as he had. </p><p>“...I liked...your song?” Kyd said lamely in his scratchy, underused voice after far too long of them just staring wide-eyed at each other. </p><p>The boy seemed to snap out of a reverie, looking down at his guitar as if he’d never seen it before, then looked back up and signing a stiff palm out from his chin and looking away bashfully.</p><p>Thank you, is what he’d signed. </p><p>“You don’t have to...stop. Or- I mean, I should probably leave anyway-” </p><p>Suddenly the boy was off his seat on the boulder and had latched his hand around Kyd’s wrist in an instant, absolutely pleading with his eyes. </p><p>“You...want me to stay?” Kyd echoed, unbelievingly. The boy’s eyes lit up like lights and he smiled like the sun as he tugged Kyd by his wrist to sit next to him on the ground against the boulder. For a moment he seemed to forget why, just excitedly staring at Kyd and smiling before he remembered he had a guitar in his lap. </p><p>As he started strumming, he closed his eyes and seemed to relax, which caused Kyd to as well. The view was beautiful, as was the music, but he couldn’t let himself get too comfortable. He settled for just watching the boy’s face and fingers as he strummed. </p><p>He was happy now. </p><p>When he finished, he looked at Kyd expectantly. It reminded Kyd of a child waiting for praise before they would move along. </p><p>“This...what you do all day, up here?” Kyd finally asked. The boy seemed to slump, and sigh silently. </p><p>Slowly, but bitterly, the boy signed one word: prison. </p><p>After realizing what he’d signed, he shook his head and signed for my safety instead, forcing a smile. </p><p>“Prisons can be beautiful too. That doesn’t make them any more free.” Kyd said, knowing from experience. The boy seemed to stare into Kyd’s very soul for a moment, searching for truth. After a bit, he nodded bitterly. </p><p>“What’s keeping you here?” Why was he asking? He didn’t care. “Authority figure, electric fence, running from the law?” He needed to be back at the base. He shouldn’t be wasting time with this energetic boy. </p><p>The boy shook his head and hands as a way for Kyd not to get the wrong idea, before biting his lip and thinking. </p><p>Promise, he signed, before elaborating. Promise to mother. Promise to stay here, to stay safe. He looked heartbroken as he signed it, glaring bitterly at the sky that some would die to get a glimpse of. </p><p>“...How long have you been here?” Kyd asked finally, dreading the answer for him. </p><p>The boy sighed, holding up 10 fingers. </p><p>“Ten...months?” Kyd asked. The boy shook his head, looking at him with a look of despair before stretching his index finger and thumb apart. Longer.</p><p>“Ten...Ten years?” Kyd stated more than asked, disbelieving as the boy nodded solemnly. </p><p>“You’ve never...that’s why you just stared at me. I- Who was the last person you had contact with?” the questions seemed to come all at once. Kyd was never meant to be here in the first place, but he’d just gotten so wrapped up in this isolated stranger.</p><p>Mother, he signed. 10 years. </p><p>Before Kyd could say anything he seemed to go into a rant of signs, and Kyd held onto every word, every gesture. No people. No places. Never seen anything. Never meet anyone. Never… He seemed to stop and think about this one.</p><p>Never lived. </p><p>Kyd didn’t know why he cared. He didn’t care! He was supposed to be at the base finding a way to pawn off that bag of artifacts by now. Not entertaining the wiles of a lonely stranger on a mountain in the middle of nowhere. He was a hardened criminal, a fugitive. He shouldn’t care. He doesn’t care.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He said gruffly. “I...know what it’s like. Not- the not being able to see the world. But, I know…” Kyd sighed, getting his words together. “I know great loneliness. I understand.” And he did. What good was discovering a dark, fearful world when there was no one to share it with? His family was good as dead. The HIVE were his friends, but they were still skittish around him to some degree. </p><p>He had the power to go anywhere in the world, see anything he wanted, experience anything he wanted, but he couldn’t run away from the seeping hole in his chest. Not forever. Every place he came to left a bitter taste in his mouth. </p><p>Alone. The boy signed. He gestured down to where Kyd could barely make out a small, bustling Tibetan village in the valley of the mountain. Surrounded. Still alone.</p><p>“Hey,” Kyd said, snapping the boy out of his solemn reveries. “I’ll be right back, I want to show you something.” Suddenly as he turned the boy’s hand shot out to grip his wrist. His face read desperation. He really had been all alone up here for far too long. Just talking to someone, even someone like Kyd, was probably a dream to him. </p><p>“I’m coming back.” Kyd said, awkwardly squeezing the boy’s hand. “I...I promise.” </p><p>This seemed to sate the boy, if only barely. He looked at Kyd with mistrust before taking his hand back and watching him like a hawk as he left. Kyd found the tree he’d collapsed under, with the bag of goodies and snake cane still sitting under it. He took a bit as he picked up the cane, eyeing it warily before hastily shoving it in his cape. </p><p>The boy followed his every movement with eyes shining in curiosity and admiration as he returned and spilled the contents in front of where they were sitting. He found he quite liked being looked at with amazed admiration instead of spiteful fear. The boy’s eyes widened and gasped, reaching down to barely brush the gold that had spilled out of the bag Kyd had brought, seeming almost afraid to touch it. </p><p>“It’s Egyptian. Or, old Egyptian at least.” Kyd explained, picking a gold piece and handing it to the curious boy, who rolled it over in his hands and traced the engraving with the pads of his fingertips like he was trying to learn an entire language from one symbol. </p><p>“It’s very hot there. A complete bowl of sand. Can’t say it has a very enjoyable community.” Kyd griped, recalling the bustling and yelling of the inner city. </p><p>The stranger bolted upright, shoving a finger at Kyd with a look of amazement. You’ve been there? </p><p>“Well, yeah. I mean, these aren’t directly from Egypt. They probably haven’t seen the light of day in decades from travel from museum to museum.” Kyd rambled, cut off when the blonde leaned harshly into his personal space, signing more! More! More! As quickly as possible. Kyd finally gingerly took him by the wrists and leaned him back away. </p><p>“You want to...hear more? About Egypt?” Kyd asked, disbelievingly. The boy nodded enthusiastically, pleading with his eyes. </p><p>Kyd could scarcely understand the boy at all. Kyd was a demon, or at least he looked the part. His voice was as soothing as nails on a chalkboard from underuse. But the boy leaned in, hanging onto anything Kyd had to say. </p><p>“It’s, I mean- There’s not, a lot to say. It’s hot? It’s really sandy. Uh-” Kyd didn’t do the talking thing much. The boy was listening as if Kyd had the answer to life, nonetheless. He deserved better than Kyd’s half-baked complaining. </p><p>“You can stand on the top of a sand dune, and look in every direction around you, and it’s nothing but sand. It’s like a never ending ocean of sand. The Egyptians of old actually believed the night sky was just another ocean hanging above them.” Kyd said confidently. The boy comically looked up at the bright sky as if he expected water to come dripping down. It made Kyd smile, just the tiniest bit. </p><p>“The people there are kind, too. You have to know how not to get scammed, but they have a very strong sense of unity. They’re very connected, like an enormous family.” Kyd said with a smile, remembering the kind woman in the robe who had offered him food when no one else would while he was there. </p><p>The stranger seemed to deflate when he heard the word ‘family’, echoing the word with his lips. </p><p>Kyd really needed to be leaving. Time zones were probably ridiculously different, and the HIVE would be worrying him soon. He shouldn’t have stopped here in the first place, honestly. The boy had nothing to offer him. He should’ve been back at the base by now. He needed to leave and pretend he’d never been here at all. The boy was perfectly fine before Kyd came along, he’d be fine when Kyd never looked back as well. </p><p>“I’ll bring you more.” Kyd said before he could stop himself. The boy looked at him like Kyd had just promised him the world. “But, I do need to get going now. I live very far away, and I don’t want my friends to worry about me.” Kyd explained, trying not to startle the boy like the last time he’d left. </p><p>The boy seemed sad, but hopeful. He made a serious gesture, putting a finger to his lips. </p><p>Promise? </p><p>Kyd took a breath. Why bother? He wasn’t coming back. </p><p>“I promise.” Kyd said, unable to bite down a soft smile when the boy seemed to sigh with relief. </p><p>As he turned to go, the blonde stranger grabbed him by the forearm and dragged him back towards the rock, drawing a name in the dirt underneath it. </p><p>J-O-S-E-P-H.</p><p>He then pointed further in the trees, to a hidden cabin-looking house that he probably lived in. </p><p>“Joseph.” He finally had a name to the stranger’s face, which he guessed didn’t make him a stranger anymore. “That...It suits you.” Kyd said. The boy smiled in thanks. </p><p>Kyd could feel the jade eyes watching him like a hawk all the way up until he teleported away, but it didn’t leave him with a sense of foreboding like most people’s attention. It felt...nice. When the boy looked at him and waved goodbye, Kyd wasn’t being watched, or monitored, or even judged. He was being seen.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 'Fore You Came Along</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kyd didn’t comprehend any of what he was doing. There was absolutely no logic in putting his freedom on the line just to entertain some strange blonde in the middle of nowhere. </p><p>And yet, here he was. Sitting cross legged on the floor next to a small homemade coffee table in Joseph’s cabin-home, being brought “Po Cha” in a comically dainty and expertly painted teacup and pot. </p><p>For the third time this week. </p><p>He had to admit, as much as he ridiculed himself for wasting his time entertaining Joseph, the strange foods and drink were often worth it. </p><p>“Right, and this is- egg yolks?” Kyd teased, ignoring the brush of their hands when he took the painted cup from his newfound friend. Predictably, Joseph gave him a frustrated, pinchy look before finger spelling B-U-T-T-E-R. T-E-A. P-O. C-H-A, with the facial expression and strict movements of an adult teaching a child to say a word for the first time. </p><p>“Right, right- mountain people juice.” Kyd said before drinking some if only to irk Joseph more. He couldn’t help himself, Joseph was cute when he was frustrated. His face would get all pinched and his cheeks would puff out like he was pouting. If one ignored him for long enough or offended him, his entire face would turn the color of a strawberry.</p><p>Besides the point. </p><p>Joseph crouched on the other side of the coffee table, biting his lip in excitement as his eyes wandered around the large map Kyd had brought him. Finally, he pointed to a pin in a small space near the Bengal Bay and looked up at Kyd excitedly. </p><p>“That’s Chennai. It’s a city near the bay in India.” Kyd said, reaching into his cloak to pull out any sentiments from his time there. Joseph’s eyes went wide and soft when Kyd laid out a beautifully decorated but dirty and old bandana looking headpiece, several small bits of broken jewelry, and an old, worn photograph in a delicately crafted frame. </p><p>Joseph touched the - scarf? Headpiece? Bandana? - first, and was immensely surprised by how unbelievably soft it was, like silk almost, but not. The headpiece was a reddish mauve color and hand painted designs on it that had obviously been painted over and repainted and covered up several times. It had holes in the edges and was thin and torn, but that it made it all the more special. The stories one item could tell - the headwrap was sentimental beyond belief if Kyd had kept it all this time and not gone through the trouble to clean or sell it. </p><p>“It was hers,” Kyd said quietly, pointing to the delicately laid photograph, and Joseph had to do a double-take as he realized who it was. “Sangha’s.” He finished. </p><p>The black and white photograph was of a beautiful dark skinned woman and a paler than moon boy standing in a river with seemingly not a soul else besides the menagerie of fish and sealife gathering around the boy’s legs. </p><p>The woman- Sangha- was tall, almost intimidating in stature. She had obviously fended for herself for a long while, based on her stature, her defensive stance, and her ratty clothing. Despite this, Joseph couldn’t recall a kinder smile but his mother’s. She was smiling like a mother, with one hand on the boy’s shoulders and facing the camera. The headwrap- the same one Joseph had in his hands - was wrapped tightly around her forehead, to the point her hair was bulging out at the top and under the bandana. </p><p>The boy was short in stature, but lean, and obviously frustrated. He looked at the camera with piercing, angry eyes and a defensive expression, contrasting Sangha’s. He was holding his arms out, almost calling to the wildlife, as if it were the most normal thing in the world for the more deadly animals to simply be swimming around his feet like pets. His hair was a ratty mess, still wet from some of the water, and his clothing was similar to Sangha’s, just without the shirt and headwrap. </p><p>“She always hated that picture. She’d worked so hard to get her hands on it,” Kyd said before chuckling quietly. “Only to find out I was looking at the cameraman like he was the devil.” He finished with a smile. </p><p>Joseph smiled with him and urged him to continue. </p><p>“Sangha was like, my mother. In a lot of ways. When my travels brought me to India at that young an age - 11? 12? - the people backed away from me in fear. They called me ‘rakshasa’ - demon. I had nowhere else to go. The people would throw me out of shelter, pelt me with garbage and food, scream about how I would bring them only death and misfortune. Eventually, Sangha found me.” Kyd said. This time, he smiled. </p><p>“Sangha was outcast from the main city too. You can’t really tell in the picture very well, but her eyes were…’rakshasa’, too. One was an inhuman bright blue color, the other was stark white. She was human in the end, but they didn’t treat her like it. They had carved a symbol - a third eye - into her forehead at a younger age to warn anyone who met her. That’s why she wore this cloth over it all the time.”</p><p>“When people saw us entering the river, they would leave immediately, they thought we would spread some evil disease to them through the water. It was better for us that way. We could bathe and hunt in the river in peace. One day a reporter found us and planned to take a picture of the evil prophetess and her demon son. So she smiled as wide as she could at him as he took the picture.”</p><p>Joseph sighed and smiled, amazed. Sangha sounded like a wonderful woman. </p><p>“She taught me so much, Joseph.” Kyd said wistfully. “She was banished, an outcast, a rakshasa, but she took me in and proved more human than any other soul in that city. She taught me her culture. She taught me her religion and her beliefs. She taught me joy and happiness. She taught me how to dance.” He said, excitedly. “She taught me how to fend for myself, but she also taught me the difference between stealing to survive and causing others to suffer for it.” </p><p>Kyd grew somber. “She taught me to smile in the faces of people who would have us burned.”</p><p>Kyd was obviously having an internal conflict. He hadn’t smiled or danced or laughed in a long time. Sangha would be disappointed in him if anything. To her especially, there was a difference between living to survive, and surviving to live. </p><p>Kyd felt like he was doing neither. He was in this vast deadspace between the two. </p><p>He was broken out of his reverie by Joseph, who was chuckling at the photograph.</p><p>“What?” Kyd snapped, silently grateful for the distraction.</p><p>Joseph took a moment, giving him a sanguine look before signing grew well. </p><p>Kyd huffed a bitter laugh. He really didn’t. He was a product of the people who had pushed him forward - Bihu, Sangha, Deadbird, Anistasiya - they would all be disappointed in how he’d taken their life lessons and smashed them into the dirt. </p><p>Kyd was broken from his train of thought by more of Joseph’s signing.</p><p>Wish my life. Like yours. </p><p>“Why do you stay?” Kyd asked abruptly, as if it hadn’t been on his mind since they met.</p><p>Joseph squirmed and looked away.</p><p>“You have nothing keeping you here. No authority, no threat. So if you want to leave so bad, why do you make yourself miserable? There’s an entire village just below your mountain, right in view. You make yourself a caged bird.” Kyd pestered on, growing wearier at Joseph’s avoidance of an answer. </p><p>Joseph’s signs were slow, and it was obviously a painful topic for him.</p><p>Family. All I am. All I have. Even if… He hesitated on this sign, putting weight into it.</p><p>Even if all dead.</p><p>Kyd took a sharp intake of breath, then looked away, somber. He shouldn’t have asked. It was obviously a touchy subject. He should’ve left well enough alone. Now Joseph would block him out, sign that Kyd was being too impersonal, tell him to leave-</p><p>Have to live for something. Joseph signed with a bittersweet smile. His lips were all sunshine, but his eyes told story of a flood. </p><p>Even if it’s something… Joseph signed, sliding the picture back over to Kyd. Not here anymore. </p><p>“Yeah…” Kyd said thoughtfully. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” </p><p>There was a silence in the room, but a comfortable one. They were both lost in daydreams of who made them what they are. They were also lost in the quiet commandment of the room.</p><p>They were still here. </p><p>Loyalty - for good or for tragedy - were both of the boys' deepest roots. </p><p>Kyd was still here, steadily chasing, steadily running, steadily scouring the globe in search of family.</p><p>Joseph was still here, silent, miserable, but resilient in keeping a promise that one day they’d all once again be a family. </p><p>Kyd was silent as he stood up from his place on the other side of the table, walked over to Joseph’s side, and plopped next to him with still considerable distance between them. </p><p>Joseph gave him a keen smile before leaning his head against Kyd’s side, who was ignoring that he was there at all besides a small grunt when Joseph flopped all of his weight into his arm.</p><p>Joseph warmly smiled at him, offering more Po Cha from the delicate tea set.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>[I am still all FOR comments! They inspire me to write!]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hand In My Hand, Heart In My Songs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kyd had been questioning himself a lot lately. Maybe too much, in the eyes of the five. They’d said some things. He’d said some things. Roommates fight.</p><p>Of course, when your roommates are metahuman, unstable, and naturally defensive of you, shoves and harsh words become bruises and curses. Holes in the walls become possible holes in your body.</p><p>Kyd knocked his forehead against the freezing cabin door. What was he doing here? He should be in a hospital, or out to find shelter of his own, or something. Not groveling at the door of an untrustworthy mountain hick who would probably kick him out the second he realized Kyd was useless in practice.</p><p>Joseph was untrustworthy. He was a stranger. He had the attention span of a golden retriever and would leave Kyd to drop dead in the cold the second he saw how much trouble he really was. He was human. Being human was a fatal flaw - it spread a disease of greed and tragedy and war. </p><p>But…</p><p>But…-</p><p>Joseph was also the kindest soul he’d met in years. He'd welcomed Kyd into his home without a second thought, offered him food and drink, practically begged Kyd to stay and share his stories. He had the heart of a golden retriever as well - with the warmth and joy and quiet adoration to match. </p><p>He was human. In only the best ways Kyd could imagine. Human like Sangha, like Bihu, like Anastasiya. He radiated warmth, kindness, joy- he was a walking celebration of his own humanity. </p><p>Kyd scowled when he realized he was softly smiling at the memory of Joseph falling asleep against his arm, smiling while Kyd told him about the stories Sangha used to share. </p><p>With whatever strength he had left, he foolishly decided that was enough reason to come hobbling to Joseph’s door in the dead of night. Kyd could barely gather the strength to lift up his hand from where he was cradling it, opting instead to bang his head against the door a bit louder this time, then urgently kicking the bottom of it. On top of his bruises, his teeth were chattering so hard he swore he could hear a crack. His limbs were completely numb, and if he stood out here for any longer he was sure his limbs would sear together.</p><p>Kyd all but fell forward at the sudden pulling open of the frigid door but was abruptly stopped by Joseph narrowly catching him. Kyd looked up with some effort and forced a frigid smile that was meant to be comforting. Joseph’s horrified expression only deepened. He probably looked like a wreck. The Five really did a number on him after he struck a few cords with them. Bihu always said his mouth was too fast for his mind. The soft glow of candles from inside created a fuzzy orange haze around Joseph’s golden hair- everything was spinning. Why couldn’t Joseph stay in focus? The arms that caught him were so warm. Like Joseph himself. Kyd fell asleep. </p><p>Kyd jerked awake with a raspy cough and went to sit up, only to hiss painfully and lower back down. Joseph came around the corner of the hall with his ever present tea set, his eyes widening and pace turning into more of a bustle when he saw Kyd was up. </p><p>Joseph firmly shoved Kyd back down to lay against the pillows of his little couch (which barely fit Kyd in the first place), sending a sorrowful look at Kyd for the pain but a firm look that also said ‘deal with it’. </p><p>Joseph presented a still drowsy Kyd with a teacup that looked more like leaf juice. The water had barely taken in any of the ingredients yet, and there were vines, flowers, and other plantlife floating around in the cup.</p><p>Kyd lifted a hand with a struggle from under the thick blanket Joseph had laying on him and laid it on his cheek, gathering his attention.</p><p>“You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met…” Kyd said, half-delirious. Joseph gave a warm smile in return, his cheek turning a lovely pink shade. “...but I’m not drinking your swamp juice.” </p><p>Joseph’s smile twisted into a scowl just as Kyd’s turned into a teasing grin. Joseph huffed and slammed down a pre-written note explaining the ingredients and why Kyd needed them before storming off to presumably find more blankets for the both of them. </p><p>Kyd sat up with a strain, ignoring the frigid cold felt from even inside the cabin when his arms hit bare air. Lavender, rosemary, cloves… Kyd counted them off the list as he found them in his cup. It really was pelting snow outside. There was a never-ending pat-pitter-pat from the near hail hitting the roof of the house at a violent rate. A third of the window was completely covered by snow. Just looking at it too long made him shiver again.</p><p>Joseph finally came bustling back after about a third of his cup was gone, plopping down on the floor next to the couch and giving Kyd a good long glare. </p><p>“...I’m fine.” Kyd huffed, rolling his eyes. Joseph twisted him back around by the arm, causing him to wince. </p><p>“It was just a fight. Not a big one. I’ll be back with the HIVE in a day’s time. They need me.” </p><p>Joseph’s anger seemed to flare, his eyes went wide and he seemed almost offended before letting out a series of complicated, too-quick signs Kyd couldn’t read, giving up and letting out a frustrated huff when he realized Kyd could barely keep up. </p><p>Kyd reached out to touch Jericho’s arm, snapping his attention back immediately.</p><p>“Thank you.” Kyd whispered urgently, hoping Joseph understood the serious meaning behind it despite his earlier teasing. </p><p>Joseph let out a begrudging nod and a small smile before sitting on the coffee table and reaching over Kyd to blow out the sole candle in the small room. The room was cast from orange to pitch black, and Kyd fell into another delirious sleep as he felt Joseph’s comforting hand slip away. </p><p>Kyd trudged outside with the animal blanket wrapped tightly around him when he awoke and found it wasn’t snowing nearly as bad anymore, sneaking up on Joseph, who was in a meditative position. </p><p>“You’re doing it wrong.” Kyd griped, straining to sit next to him without disturbing his bandages. It was still dark. He must not have slept long.</p><p>The night sky was...as cheesy as it sounded, a wonder to behold this high in the mountains. No planes. No smog. No buildings. No noise. Just an endless, endless ocean of stars. They were so high up it gave Kyd the illusion that he could reach out and create a ripple in space itself. Egyptians believed that the sky was just another vast ocean, held up by the sun and moon. He could almost see why, now.</p><p>Joseph sighed contentedly, smiling warmly at the stars, and it brought peace to Kyd as well. </p><p>“Weather changes like lightning here. Wasn’t it snowing just a few hours ago?” Kyd questioned, grateful for the warmer night but surprised at the quick change of scenery from the frigid cold before. It was still chilly, and Kyd could see puffs of mist come from his breath, but it wasn't a blizzard like before. Kyd could scarcely believe that was normal for Joseph. Like April showers. </p><p>Joseph gave him a wincing look before signing.</p><p>Asleep...two days. </p><p>“WHAT?” Kyd yelled out of nowhere, causing Joseph to wince further.</p><p>“There’s no way- it’s never taken me that long to- the HIVE-!” Kyd babbled senselessly as he fought against his body’s pain to stand up on two shaky, mistrustful legs. “The five must be worried sick, I’ve gotta get back to them- I’ve gotta-!” Kyd was interrupted from his panic when Joseph firmly grabbed him by the forearm and yanked him back down to the ground with nothing but fury in his eyes.</p><p>Hive wasn’t worried. I was worried! Didn’t leave your bedside even to sleep! Only came out here to give you space to wake up! He signed with a furious expression. Hive kicked you out! Hive hurt you! Hive put you to sleep- Joseph’s signs were getting sloppier now, his eyes now only just barely held back tears. It struck a chord in Kyd, who felt his heart stop at the watery expression before him. Joseph was signing so quickly and so much that his hands would bump into each other, he was heaving for breath. Kyd eventually grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him and steady him, gesturing for him to breathe.</p><p>Joseph took a breath before looking up at Kyd with absolute desperation in his eyes.</p><p>Tired of living for something gone. Want to live for something here. </p><p>Joseph’s hands shook hard on the last signs.</p><p>You can’t leave me too. </p><p>Kyd yanked Joseph forward into a tight embrace, if only to hide the emotion on his own face. What was he doing to him? What was he doing here at all? He was overwhelmed. No one had ever been this kind to him before. No one had ever treated him like something to be cherished and protected. </p><p>Joseph wriggled out of Kyd’s embrace finally, softly placing his hands on each side of Kyd’s face, still pleading with his eyes. Pleading don’t go, stay safe, don’t let them hurt you, don’t let them take you away- all at once without a single sign. Kyd was drowning in the unadulterated care in those eyes.</p><p>No one had ever been this tender with him before. That’s what it was. Joseph messed Kyd up so bad because no one had ever cared about him the way Joseph did. Not only did Joseph care about him, he dove headfirst into caring about him the second they met, no strings attached and not a worry in the world about the repercussions. </p><p>Kyd was overwhelmed. His head was so loud. What was he supposed to say to that? Instead, he closed his eyes and softly held Joseph’s wrists. Not pulling them away. Just confirming that they were there. Warmth spread through his face as Joseph curled his fingers and gently brought their foreheads to lay together. Kyd’s eyes were closed but he could feel how close they were. Physically, emotionally- whatever. It felt like for the first time in years someone understood. Someone saw it all- every bad thing about him, every awful thing he’d ever done, every flaw he couldn’t unsee- and they didn’t just accept it, they reveled in it. The night air was freezing, but the warmth shared between the two boys more than made up for it.</p><p>“You’re still...doing it wrong.” Kyd hummed with a rasp and smile, his breath coming out in puffs in the cold night air.</p><p>Jericho scrunched his eyebrows and tilted his head in confusion. Cute.</p><p>“The pose. For meditating.” Kyd said, finally creating some distance between them as he demonstrated the correct full lotus pose. “It’s like this.” </p><p>It took a moment for Jericho to shake his head from his reverie, and he glanced at Kyd with a forlorn look, sad the moment was over, before going back to smiling warmly and copying Kyd’s position. </p><p>“Right, like that. I learned it from Bihu.” Kyd commented. “He was my...master. At the Rongbuk Monastery, when I was a child. We met when I was 6.” Kyd said, smiling at the memory before looking upward to the stars.</p><p>“You’d like him. He used to tell me stories about the stars and the warriors they represented.” Kyd said, only to look over and find Joseph fondly staring at him instead of the stars above.</p><p>Kyd was going to say something insulting about it, only to yawn halfway through his sentence. </p><p>“I feel like I just woke up from a week long coma, can you believe I’m still tired?” Kyd asked with a sleepy rasp in his voice.</p><p>Joseph gave him a dopey smile, shaking his head fondly before gently putting weight on Kyd’s shoulder, finally convincing him to lie down on the ground next to him. It was...an experience. With nothing but an endless view of stars, Kyd barely noticed when his head finally lolled to the side on Jericho’s shoulder. Or when Jericho slyly slipped his warm hand into Kyd’s cold one, squeezing tight.</p><p>Kyd would eventually leave for his team. But tonight it didn’t matter. He was here. They both were.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are very important to me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I Was A Fighter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kyd felt like a fool walking around the cabin searching for Joey.</p><p>A happy, dopey-grinned fool.</p><p>But a fool nonetheless.</p><p>He'd met Joey in the late fall. It was early spring now and Joey had been signing constantly about how excited he was to see the flowers outside bloom. He'd describe them in vivid detail, waving his hands around excitedly and beaming at Kyd the whole while. He seemed to get more and more excited with every passing day, though upset that some didn't seem to be blooming at all.</p><p>Kyd had been making a habit of visiting Joseph bi-weekly to almost daily, now. Which is why he knew of Joseph's increasing troubles with the plant life. He couldn't help himself. Joseph had this power over him and the boy had no idea. It seemed like visiting and venting to Joseph was the only thing that kept him sane, now. Joseph knew things about him he hadn't said aloud since he was a child. He knew a fair share about Joseph as well. Joseph and his troubling family tree.</p><p>Joseph's family tree that Kyd vowed to distract him from at all times of the day, and protect him from lest the devil ever came back.</p><p>So, yes, Kyd felt a bit dumb walking around and playing a one sided game of hide-and-seek with Joey while hiding stems behind his back like a child.</p><p>Kyd couldn't help but smile when he found Joseph fretting over a small patch of dirt near the trees behind the cabin. He looked ridiculously cute, on his knees in front of the mound and biting his lip in nervousness. He had a kind of sun-hat on to protect from the light since it was harsher when you were this high in altitude.</p><p>Kyd noticed he'd been smiling all dopey like that a lot lately. He'd have to make a note to stop it.</p><p>"You kill anything yet?" Kyd teased, nudging Joseph's hip with his boot. Joseph bolted up, startled, before rolling his eyes and huffing with his hands on his hips when he saw who it was.</p><p>Kyd chuckled at his reaction before sitting on the ground next to him, carefully keeping what he had in his hands out of sight.</p><p>Kyd smirked and flicked one of Joseph's curls annoyingly. Joseph lightly smacked his hand away and made a face at him, sticking his tongue out, causing them both to erupt in chuckles and giggles. When they died down they found each other staring at the other's smile with intensity but joyful contentment.</p><p>Kyd would have to make a note to stop doing that too.</p><p>"I brought you something." Kyd said in a sing-song voice, already knowing to hold his arm up so Joseph didn't tackle him trying to see.</p><p>"Easy, easy." Kyd teased. "I just...I know you've been...having trouble with your flowers, or whatever. Don't make a deal of it. I just- happened to see them, is all." Kyd grumbled before pulling out small bags of ready-to-plant chrysanthemums, to which Joey clapped and smiled excitedly but seemed almost scared to touch them.</p><p>Kyd lifted an eyebrow as Joey smiled fondly and nudged their shoulders together.</p><p>Happened to see them. Joey signed. Thought of me?</p><p>Kyd huffed and turned away, missing when Joey's smile widened he bashfully took the fragile flowers into his arms, carrying them away to plant them.</p><p>The truth was Kyd hadn't just 'happened to see them'. In fact, he'd made a deliberate scheme just to get his hands on them. For Joseph.</p><p>They weren't just store-bought chrysanthemums. They were the antique, sacred blooms from the garden in the Rongbuk Monastery Kyd grew up in as a child. Bihu used to walk the garden with Kyd and tell him why they were so special.</p><p>Only the chosen of the men of the village could pick them. It was said that the goddess Chang'e had to give up her mortal form to save her husband, Hou Yi, and the tears she let fall from her place in the heavens became the flowers in the gardens. Bihu said the flowers would wilt if the person the men gave them to didn't reciprocate their love.</p><p>Kyd had to sneak into the monastery he hadn't seen since he was a child just to get his hands on the blooms, then carefully lay them in small satchels so they would be alive when Joey planted them. Strangely, Kyd felt as if someone were following him the whole way, a nervous wreck that he'd been caught. But as he gathered the flowers the presence didn't seem to be hostile, instead watching over Kyd.</p><p>Kyd decided it was worth it as Joey ran back to tug him by the arm to where he'd planted the flowers.</p><p>Joey sighed happily and smiled gratefully at Kyd, hugging his arm in thanks before giving him a thoughtful look.</p><p>Who is B-I-H-U? He signed finally, biting his lip. Kyd sighed. He supposed he'd have to tell eventually, what with Joseph's constant nagging about him. He'd just foolishly hoped he'd forgotten.</p><p>"Bihu was...a lot of things." Kyd said tentatively, looking downward. He was interrupted by Joseph softly touching his shoulder.</p><p>Don't have to tell. If it hurts. Joseph signed. Kyd was almost impressed. Joseph had been asking about this mysterious 'Bihu' person since that cold winter night a few weeks ago.</p><p>But Kyd felt it was right to tell.</p><p>"Do you know what 'Bihu' means, in Chinese? It's 'shelter'. Or sometimes 'to shield', or 'to be under one's protection'. That's what Bihu was to me." Kyd said fondly, caressing the petals of the chrysanthemum Joseph had planted with delicate care.</p><p>"Before I met Bihu...well, I don't know what I was. I don't remember much of my life then and I don't wish to." Kyd said sternly, forcing the memory away. He did remember such a painful time, but he wouldn't force that pain on Joseph if he didn't need to.</p><p>"I met Bihu when I was six years old. I was a scavenger, I only barely had control of my powers, and I was a hostile, feral thing. They found me scrounging around in their trash for food. I would hiss and bite anyone who came near me. The monastery masters wanted to turn me to the river, send me on my way to be someone else's problem. But Bihu took me in. He begged them to give me a chance, all while I was steadily trying to rip apart his robe with my teeth." Kyd said, chuckling at the memory.</p><p>"Bihu was...too kind for his own good. And I was too selfish to tell him the curse of taking me in. But the things Bihu taught me are the things I'll never forget in my life. The monastery didn't see life as having a mother and a father, but as a river, flowing until the end of time. Bihu wasn't my father in the way Sangha was my mother, it was more like he was my mentor." Kyd continued.</p><p>"Where Sangha taught me joy, and unbridled emotion, Bihu taught me discipline and patience. Bihu taught me to have the patience to understand all living things before striking. He taught me meditation and peace. He also taught me how to fight, though barely." Kyd chuckled, remembering months and months of trying to emulate a kick and falling backward into the river instead.</p><p>"Bihu would sit with me on the riverside for hours on end, telling me stories of champions who came from nothing, like me. He gave me a reason to keep going, even when other children would scream and run from me. Bihu gave me peace. He gave me hope."</p><p>Kyd turned to look at Jericho, who was staring with serious intent as Kyd told his story.</p><p>"You would've liked him." Kyd said with a soft smile. "You would've liked Shigatse as a whole." Kyd closed his eyes, imaging the grand, red arches in the monastery. The pranks Bihu and he would play on the masters. The beautiful streaming rivers and the never ending garden.</p><p>Even in the city, Kyd had fond memories. As long as he was with Bihu, no one would run from him or try to harm him. Bihu would take him into the city to watch the villagers paint murals using crushed flower petals, and some days they would let him join. Bihu and he would take extra food from the monastery into the poor district and offer it to anyone on hand. He'd never felt safer in his life than when he was with Bihu.</p><p>"I think...he would've liked you too." Kyd said bitterly, flashing images of what was left of Shigatse flashing through his mind from his visit for the flowers.</p><p>Red arches splintered and broken. Haunting ash silhouettes and skeletons left haunting the halls. Rivers so dirty they were an inky black from ash. It had never been so quiet in the monastery than when Kyd had come to steal the flowers. It was terrifying. Kyd saw the city was still alight, the small mass of what was left of it, but didn't dare face the people. Not after what he'd caused.</p><p>Joey turned Kyd to face him, giving a knowing look when he saw the tears in Kyd's eyes.</p><p>...Not here? Joseph signed hesitantly.</p><p>"No. Not here." Kyd said. "Dead."</p><p>Joseph naturally moved closer to Kyd, laying his head on his shoulder and stroking his arm soothingly. Not your fault.</p><p>"But it is. You don't even know what happened." Kyd said shakily.</p><p>"I was...a fool to think I could just live a happy little life in a city so wide. The...monsters...the ones who were a part of my past. They came back for me." Kyd echoed, emptily.</p><p>"I was nine when it happened. I'd never...seen anything like it. The clouds turned grey and seemed to cover the entire city. Everything got quiet and the masters started murmuring but they ordered me to stay out. Bihu sat with me in the garden, next to the river. I didn't know why but he looked...he looked like he knew what was about to happen. And he couldn't move to stop it so he just...held onto me. We watched the flowers shake in the wind. The wind was so fast some of them blew off their stems. The river...the river turned red." Kyd echoed further, reliving the past.</p><p>"I finally managed to squirm enough to see over Bihu's shoulder and I saw why. I could see the shadows from inside the monastery through the film walls. Bodies falling to the ground...bodies I knew. The river turned red but...can you even imagine how much blood it took? To turn a pounding stream completely red? The river is where they dumped the bodies - of the townspeople, of the masters, of everyone, tearing the city and the monastery apart trying to find me."</p><p>"But I didn't...I didn't do anything." Kyd said bitterly. "I just stayed there and cried into Bihu like a pathetic child."</p><p>Joseph's hands signed where Kyd could see.</p><p>You were a child.</p><p>"But I was a powerful one. I could've stopped them, I could've saved us, I could've saved Bihu-" Kyd halted himself with a steady breath, breathing a beat of silence, continuing on. "Bihu just held on to me, and it went quiet. And I prayed that it was all a dream, and that I'd wake up and I had just fallen asleep on Bihu in the library. I almost believed it, I almost fell asleep right there when- when they grabbed Bihu by the hood of his robe and tore him away from me."</p><p>"I barely had any time to react. Bihu tried to hold on to me but they tore me away and they- they held Bihu by the hood over the rocks of the river. And they held a sword up to me. Up to my neck. And it was still...bloody, from the people they'd torn apart to find me. It's like...It's like I could smell master Yange's blood still on the blade. Bihu kept making these- these awful choking noises and the river had never sounded so loud in my life. They held me by the wrist, so, so hard. It felt like they were cracking it."</p><p>"Something...snapped." Kyd said finally, giving a haunting look down at the flowers.</p><p>"There was just...so much happening, I guess. I'd never been that stressed, maybe. Whatever it was...I screamed, and I saw white...and I woke up with my head against a rock and blood coming from it."</p><p>"I did it." Kyd echoed, looking over to Joey with angry tears streaming his face. "I killed them all. I don't know how, or why, but I did. There were these...weird, black silhouettes wherever the monsters had stood. The river wasn't red anymore...it was black. The monastery was almost completely demolished."</p><p>"I looked everywhere-" Kyd cried, his voice getting raspier with tears now. "I looked everywhere for Bihu, I screamed, I cried, but he was gone. I couldn't even...find a corpse. I couldn't find anything left of him to mourn- of him or of the monsters."</p><p>Kyd couldn't finish because Jericho yanked him hard into a hug, stroking his hair. Signing Not your fault over and over again into his back.</p><p>Kyd wasn't sure how long he hid there in Joseph's neck before calming his breathing, but it didn't feel long enough.</p><p>"These were all that's left. It felt fitting to bring them somewhere they could actually grow again." Kyd explained. "I don't know what happened, but that rock I hit protected these flowers for some reason. The blooms were all that was left. The blooms, me and…" Kyd removed his glove, wincing as he stroked a scar on his wrist. Four black lines curling around his arm, and one short one almost covering the inside of his wrist. Perfect engravings of where they'd grabbed him by his wrist and promised never to let go, all the way until their deaths.</p><p>Kyd's thoughts were drowned away by Joseph softly covering the large handprint with his own, stroking his wrist gently and looking up at Kyd with a pleading look in his eyes.</p><p>They're gone. He signed.</p><p>"...I hope so." Kyd rasped back.</p><p>Joseph didn't sign anything after that, instead gently taking Kyd's wrists in his hands and using them to grab a single, withery bloom. Joseph led Kyd to place it in the ground and pat the dirt over it with the utmost care, before grabbing Kyd softly and placing their foreheads together in a familiar gesture.</p><p>Things that can destroy. Can grow, too.</p><p>"You…Ya think so?" Kyd tried to tease through his hiccups and tears.</p><p>Joseph nodded solemnly, bringing his arms around Kyd's neck to hug him tight.</p><p>Kyd wasn't even sure how long he'd stayed there with Joseph, but it was probably longer than he should've. He felt...cathartic, to finally have told someone, and for them not to turn away but to thank him for telling them. He sat there in a comfortable silence next to Joseph, handing him seeds and pots and whatever else he needed at the time for gardening. Every now and then Joseph would stop and smile at Kyd, and rub his wrist soothingly to distract him.</p><p>Kyd was just so out of it, still recharging from his emotional turmoil, that he couldn't even bring himself to mock- or react at all- when Joseph let him leave after a caring kiss to his cheek and a hug so tight it was like he was trying to force all of his care into Kyd with physical touch alone.</p><p>Kyd was still sad, but this was a different type of sad. This was a healing kind of sad.</p><p>Joseph had always had strange abilities involving spirits and body-hopping and the like. He couldn't tell if the kindly robed Chinese man who visited him later that night was a spirit or not, but he figured that was his business, and not Joseph's.</p><p>Not much was exchanged besides a kind smile and a few words.</p><p>"You'll care? And protect?" Said the man, standing directly in front of the flowers he and Kyd had planted earlier that day.</p><p>Joseph gave a solemn nod. Before the man could disappear into the night, Joseph signed something as well.</p><p>I will care for the flowers, too. He signed with a smile.</p><p>The man smiled before seeming to vanish before his eyes.</p><p>Maybe there were some things he wouldn't share with Kyd. Not until Bihu was ready to come back himself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. And I Was So Brave</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I think we're getting too comfortable with each other."</p><p>He never should have said those words. He was a fool.</p><p>He was scared is what it was.</p><p>Kyd didn't let people in. Ever. People were fickle, untrustworthy things that seemed to exist only to stab their own kind in the back.</p><p>Joseph made Kyd feel things - things he was afraid of. There is something to be said about being lifted so high only to be dropped hard enough to shatter. Kyd hadn't let himself feel at all in so long. But Joseph brought it all out in him again - joy, peace, love - all those tricky emotions that only led to disappointment and betrayal. It was dangerous.</p><p>Kyd was a supervillain. That was that. He broke the law on a daily basis just because he wanted to. It was easy, and it was fun. Besides the obvious, he had a history of plainly being a bad person. He ran away from everyone who'd ever loved him. He ran away from every problem he'd ever faced.</p><p>Kyd couldn't tell anymore if he was leaving for the sake of his own emotions, or simply because he knew Joseph deserved better. A better friend, a better confidant, a better-</p><p>Kyd scowled. He was a fool for giving himself delusions of grandeur. Joseph was a fool for giving them to him.</p><p>Delusions of the warmth of candlelight from inside a cabin house. Of two souls dancing perfectly in sync. Of soft lips accepting him for every bad thing he was, every bad thing he would ever be.</p><p>Delusional lies that Joseph planted in his head, whether intentional or not. That wasn't his life and it never would be. So he trodded on through the snow.</p><p>He tried to focus on the snow, on the trip, on anything but the expression on Joseph's face when he said he was leaving. It wouldn't go away.</p><p>Kyd was stiff and awkward the entire time they were together which was more than unusual for Kyd. Especially around Joseph. Then he let that slip. Joseph dropped the teacup he was holding and it shattered. He went wide-eyed and kept mouthing something like 'why' before he remembered to sign it.</p><p>Joseph had gotten a visit. From a certain green-tinted annoyance he knew all too well. He could only imagine the things Joseph- Jericho- knew about him now. The swiftness he'd cut Kyd down. The plots to bring Kyd in quietly. The friends he'd so easily be replaced with.</p><p>Kyd had to be fast. He had to rip the bandaid before this- friendship, ripped him apart. He stuttered out an "I'm a villain. I'm a thief. You're a hero. A nuisance. I'm...evil. What did you honestly expect?" much stronger than he felt. The words felt like sorry excuses even as they fell from his mouth. Kyd would jump from the pyramids if Joseph asked him to- if it meant Joseph would keep looking at him with that adoration in his eyes. Kyd didn't care about good or evil. But he was right. They'd gotten too close. Kyd let foolish hopes blind him to his goal.</p><p>What goal? His mind seemed to whisper. To run away again? To run all the way around the world to hide from your own heart?</p><p>What was he even supposed to call them? Acquaintances? Amusements? Friends? Lovers?</p><p>Kyd jerked away and shook his head before he could go any further down that path than he already had.</p><p>He'd traveled down it before. In the dead of night, when he thought no one was watching. He'd spiral down that wonderful, delusional, impossible path until he was dizzy.</p><p>Those words had been excuses but they hit the nail on the head. Elliot Knight was a criminal, a thief, a cowardly joke of a person. Joseph deserved better.</p><p>So he left. He stared Joseph right in the eyes where tears - tears too similar to the ones Joseph had wiped away from Kyd's own face so many times - were still streaming down his face in a confused agony. And then Kyd turned around, and he ran.</p><p>It's what he was best at.</p><p>He traded in the snow from Tibet for the snow from Russia, as he forced himself through thicker and thicker melt trying to find Temnyy Gorod. His bones were chilled to the core. His breath felt ragged in his own throat.</p><p>He'd left behind a warm, candlelit cabin, a warmer, smiling face- for this.</p><p>He did that.</p><p>Temnyy Gorod was a cold, unforgiving city in the coldest part of Russia. It roughly translated to "dark city". It was the city of the forgotten. Temnyy is where people went to be forgotten. It was almost impossible to find with the near constant pelting of hail and snow, and there wasn't a single honest soul in the lines of the steel city.</p><p>He met Anistasiya there.</p><p>Kyd traveled to Temnyy Gorod when he was 9, just after Bihu had...passed. He needed to go somewhere people could forget him. So he did. The bitter cold and the even more bitter people shaped a large portion of his general mistrust in humans. Ugly, double-sided, venomous things that they were. Where Joseph was the shining example of all good things in humanity, Temnyy Gorod was every bitter, slimy, three times outlawed scumbag of the entire world, all crammed into one city.</p><p>Kyd nearly hit himself in the head to make the image go away.</p><p>Joseph was gone. Kyd was leaving him. And he'd never come back.</p><p>So why couldn't he stop thinking about him?</p><p>When Kyd was 9, after the Bihu incident had happened, he somehow managed to gather enough raw emotional energy to teleport himself seemingly in the worst part of Temnyy Gorod. But it's where he wanted to be. He wanted to be forgotten.</p><p>Soon enough, he was picked up by a small gang of orphans while he was stealing meat from a local factory. Instead of turning him in, they saw his abilities and demanded he join them.</p><p>Anistasiya was their leader.</p><p>It was a pretty okay gig. Orphans, as fate would have it, were rarely adopted but for science experiments and to sate whatever other disgusting plans the people of Temnyy had for them. Anistasiya, Kyd, Borok, and Mysh made up a small but formidable gang of orphans that specifically avoided the orphanages and helped one another to survive. They resided in an abandoned steel factory, which admittedly wasn't very helpful in the constant cold. It was a struggle to survive, but they did survive indeed. In between Kyd's knack for sleight of hand, Anistasiya's cunning, Mysh's poor-little-orphan look, and Borok's brute force, they were easily able to trick the stupid people of Temnyy pretty easily. Clothes and blankets were hard to come by sometimes, but food, warmth, and any other common object in the open marketplace was basically fair game.</p><p>They reminded him a lot of a beta-Hive Five, now that he thought about it.</p><p>Anistasiya was the eldest, she taught him everything he knew about thievery.</p><p>Scratch that.</p><p>Anistasiya was the wisest. She taught him everything he knew of strict honor amongst thieves.</p><p>Anistasiya taught Kyd that sometimes people burn brightest in the chilling cold.</p><p>She would've loved Joseph.</p><p>Kyd coughed blood into his hand in the cold, but treaded on. The entrance to the city had to be close now.</p><p>His memories with Anistasiya, while often chilled with the cold need to survive, were fond nonetheless. She taught him who was easy to trick, and she taught him who didn't deserve to be tricked. Women and children were off-limits unless they were high society, which was unlikely in a city like that anyway. The sick and elderly were off-limits as well. Anistasiya taught him to survive, but she also taught him compassion over all other needs. Greed is a disease, giving to others and sharing their bounty was the cure.</p><p>Kyd tripped on something. Snow? Air? He fell into the icy snow, soaking him to the bone, and he knew already he wouldn't be able to get back up. He was freezing. To death, probably.</p><p>He heard a faint, annoyed 'Sooka' spit at him before he passed out and felt a hand dragging him by the collar through the snow.</p><p>When he awoke, he was still freezing. His limbs were still a bit numb and he blearily looked around for his surroundings. What stood out was a figure with golden hair and a dress.</p><p>"Joseph-!" Kyd cried with a rasp, bolting upright to meet his companion.</p><p>Only for Anistasiya to angrily and painfully shove him back down.</p><p>"Nyet? Forgot your family already? Anistasiya, remember? Not… Joseph." She said teasingly, pulling at one of his ears to annoy him.</p><p>It didn't. Kyd's eyes and expression went empty as when she found him, staring up at the ceiling.</p><p>"What...happened to you?" Anistasiya asked worriedly, placing a rag on his forehead.</p><p>"I could ask the same." Kyd said solemnly. Annie had changed since they'd last seen each other. Granted, the last he saw of her he was eleven years old. Her grimy freckles had spread, and her tightly braided red hair now cascaded to even longer dual braids, packed tight like ropes. She still had the same piercing eyes though, and the same angry expressions.</p><p>"I wasn't the one found wandering through the ice like a madman." She said with a smile.</p><p>"...Who is Joseph?" Anistasiya asked finally, after too long a beat of silence from her brother.</p><p>Anistasiya didn't often see Elliot cry, no matter their circumstances. She'd have to add this to that short list though.</p><p>"So that's it, then?" Anistasiya said angrily. "You give up? You don't even try to fight for him?"</p><p>"No." Kyd said simply, if achingly.</p><p>"What is wrong with you? A boy like that- a boy like that that also has the capability to at least tolerate you - doesn't just come around, Elliot! You won't even go back for a proper goodbye?" She yelled, throwing her hands in the air.</p><p>"No." Kyd echoed.</p><p>"All my life, I've had to watch you run and run and run around hiding from your own feelings! From yourself! You have to go back- you have to tell him that you love-"</p><p>"NO!" Kyd yelled, double the anger Anistasiya had.</p><p>"You think I didn't think about this before I did it? That I just decided to shatter the one thing that made my life okay for once? I've been down this road, Annie! And I'm not going back! I- can't-" Kyd breathed, calming his breath before he got too riled up.</p><p>"I just- need to be forgotten, for a little while. I need him to forget me. He'll forget me, and he'll move on, and he'll find someone leagues better than me with the Titans. He'll be...happy." Kyd reasoned, weakly.</p><p>"...But will you?" Anistasiya asked, crouching down to look Kyd in the eye. "After everything, don't you...deserve it, just this once?"</p><p>"No." Kyd said like a commandment. "Not if it comes at the price of his pain."</p><p>Anistasiya simply shook her head for a moment before curling tighter in the jacket she had. The chilled steel of the factory she called home brought nothing but cold.</p><p>"You can't stay here forever. You know that." Anistasiya shot him a sly smile. "Crazy 8 still wants his money back."</p><p>"And his eye? A man can't have both!" Kyd teased back with a raspy chuckle. This is exactly what he meant. Joseph would be horrified to know Elliot helped in a scheme to steal a man's fortune and the man's left eye.</p><p>Granted, this was the same man that murdered Anistasiya's parents, and the rumor was that the eye wasn't even real.</p><p>It felt real when Elliot stabbed a broken miniature rapier through it and held it up like a weapon.</p><p>"Junkyard Dog is after you too, now." Annie reminded, turning to take a pot off of a boil in the corner.</p><p>"What's he want?" Kyd sneered with a face.</p><p>"'Compensation', he says. When you pissed off Billy Ray Butcherson he took it out on Junk, cut off his middle finger- what I heard." She said.</p><p>"Since when do you listen to rumors?" Elliot asked, grabbing a cup of boiling water from her when she came back to sit next to him on the bed.</p><p>"Since those...bychit rumors came pounding on my door, screaming this and that about a familiar pale body I dragged back into the city." Anistasiya said with a heavier sneer than Kyd could ever manage.</p><p>This was nothing new here, the people in this city all wanted to be forgotten for one reason or another. Crime, buried debts, you name it. This type of talk was no more ridiculous than the daily news.</p><p>"Shit, they already know I'm here?" Elliot said with dread.</p><p>"Yep." She answered, popping the 'P'. "As I said, you can't stay long- 'less you plan on joining the gang again, fighting off Needles and his cronies with us."</p><p>Kyd sighed. He didn't have time to do that. He didn't have strength to do that. But what else was he supposed to do? In the least, it might finally get Joseph off his mind.</p><p>Might finally give the world a break from Kyd Wykkyd.</p><p>"The HIVE...got an offer. From a big organization." Kyd said finally, blearily blinking up at the ceiling again.</p><p>"Right, that's your new gang, correct? The dropouts?" Annie asked playfully.</p><p>"Well, it's not really my gang. And I'm just as much a dropout as them." Kyd answered.</p><p>"...They call themselves the 'Brotherhood of Evil'. Our past leader, Jinx, made a deal with them. I...guess we're gonna follow through without her, for some stupid reason."</p><p>"It gives you a chance to forget about Joseph, at least?" She asked, pronouncing Joseph with a 'Y'.</p><p>"...Perhaps."</p><p>"Stay safe?" She asked, taking the wet rag off of his head.</p><p>"You know me…" Kyd mumbled, already standing up and looking for his cape to teleport.</p><p>"Safe's just another way of saying 'afraid'." He echoed with a menacing grin.</p><p>"I do wish to meet this Joseph one day, Elliot. We could bond over a few things. Finding you freezing to death in the snow, for example." She hummed, turning to the stove again.</p><p>"I told you, he's gone. I left. I'm not going back." Elliot bit.</p><p>"Sure." She said disbelievingly, putting an icky powder in the boiling water. "You'll go back."</p><p>Kyd made a face at her and quietly mocked what she said behind her back.</p><p>"I saw that, you pest." She hissed.</p><p>Siblings never change, it seemed. Some things do burn brightest in the freezing cold. Family, Kyd decided, was one of them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. But I Lowered My Sword</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The brotherhood battle in Paris was...hectic, to say the least. Kyd couldn’t focus enough on anything to even teleport. It was a flurry of Titans appearing seemingly out of nowhere, freezing his friends, and beating the brotherhood into the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know why he was here. Why he was even fighting. He didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span> about the Titans, they just happened to be in his way sometimes. At the center of it all, he was just running away again. It’d been </span>
  <em>
    <span>months</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he never seemed to be able to run far enough to stop thinking about him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was winter now, snowing in Paris outside the checkerboard arena. Kyd had been so cold lately and he couldn’t seem to get warm again, no matter what he tried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Joseph was warm</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His mind told him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Always so warm, and so welcome to have you in his bed. To share that warmth with you. But you left him behind.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd shook his head from his thoughts and only narrowly dodged the witch Titan throwing Johnny Rancid at him. He needed to break off and find someone to directly fight, or he’d be the victim of whichever brute got finished with them first. He shuddered to imagine the large Mexican woman spotting him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd dove and swerved through the crowd of fighting metahumans, keeping an eye out for a weak link that would be easy to-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart stopped. It stopped, jumped in his throat, then fell to his feet in a matter of seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A too familiar figure with golden hair, a purple tunic, and an achingly beautiful heart stood with his back to Kyd, trying to catch his breath after narrowly taking down SeeMore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart </span>
  <em>
    <span>ached</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the fallout he’d tried so hard to avoid. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He still looked so </span>
  <em>
    <span>warm</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guess you finally got to see Paris.” Kyd mumbled, brokenly. He didn’t expect Joseph to hear with the constant sound of battle raging around them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph spun on his heels, eyes wide and mouth gaping. The noise stopped. The distraction stopped. All Kyd could see was Joseph. Joseph’s eyes already watering with tears. His teeth clenching. His head shaking in denial. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hadn’t seen each other in </span>
  <em>
    <span>months</span>
  </em>
  <span> and all Kyd could come up with was ‘guess you finally got to see Paris’? He was a joke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t...I don’t want to fight.” Kyd said, breathless. Joseph hadn’t changed a bit. He was still breathtaking in every way. Every expression, every movement, every bat of his eyes captivated Kyd like it was the last he’d ever see of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It might as well be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph seemed to finally remember how to breathe, his eyes looking over Kyd for a good long moment, closing his eyes and scrunching his eyebrows in thought. Before Kyd could even recognize it Joseph had bolted at him with eyes fury-filled. Joseph clamped a hand around Kyd’s scarred wrist </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span>, dragging him down and punching him with as full a force he could manage square in the jaw, sending the villain sprawling- almost skidding- to the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Kyd managed to gather his bearings and creak his achy jaw back and forth some- ignoring the worrying clicking sound it was making- he stood up on two shaky legs to prepare for a fight against Jericho.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t fight him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph was in the same position as Kyd, readied for a fight, but Kyd couldn’t fight him if he had to see that face. Joseph’s beautiful expression was twisted into one of mournful </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span>. A never ending flow of tears dripped down his cheeks, his teeth were clenched, his lip was quivering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t fight him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph’s steady fists started shaking, more and more until finally, he started stomping over to where Kyd was, signing the whole way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A chant of </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘left’ ‘abandoned’ ‘betrayed’ ‘forgotten’</span>
  </em>
  <span> and a million other words Kyd couldn’t catch left Joseph’s hands as he stomped steadily toward him. Finally his signing limbs were weakly punching against Kyd’s chest, harsh from hateful intent but weak from the emotional outburst. Kyd finally caught his frail wrists and Joseph desperately clenched and unclenched his fists, heaving for breath as he silently sobbed and tried to pull away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Monster’.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Monster</span>
  </em>
  <span>- is what Joseph was signing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over and over and </span>
  <em>
    <span>over again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph looked up at him with furious, blackened eyes but they both knew he couldn’t possess Kyd. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t need to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd emptily let go of Joseph’s wrists as Joseph pushed him away like some...well, monster. Kyd couldn’t do much besides back away, lost in the echo and of the expression plastered to Joseph’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph steeled his breath and took one last look at Kyd, conveying nothing if not a screaming loud ‘how could you?’ through his facial expression. The last thing Kyd remembered was Joseph aiming a high kick straight for his eyes before his memory went black.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t use to be, when Joseph was around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d never been this cold in his life. Everything was a blu-ish white and he couldn’t remember much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’d lost- he remembered </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Joseph called him a monster for abandoning him- he was. He remembered that, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd remembered a time when he would’ve given anything for a chill like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd went by a lot of things by the time he met Deadbird. His real name was Elliot. Deadbird’s was Dayie, but he wouldn’t respond to that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They met when Kyd was fourteen, just after the fallout with Sangha. Kyd was in Egypt at the time, hidden away in one of the uncovered pyramids buried under the sand. He would go out at night to steal from unsuspecting travelers, then teleport into the tomb that was impossible to get into.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impossible for everyone but Deadbird.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd remembered being spotted by a cloaked figure in the distance when he nimbly plucked an apple from a woman’s basket as she walked by, racing across the sand as the taller and faster stranger chased after him. In a heroic moment of victory, Kyd skid across the sand and teleported into the tomb just in time. He’d gotten away- the tomb was impossible to reach. Near miles under the thick sand and sealed brick by brick, it was just Elliot, his stash of stolen food, and whatever mummy corpse was hidden elsewhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd remembered looking over to his right to see a scorpion and thinking it was strange, with how sealed up the tomb was. If there was a hole for a scorpion to fit surely sand would be pouring in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he could even finish the thought, a tall, dark man seemed to appear almost through the walls to scare Kyd out of his wits. The same man that chased him. Kyd shakily stood for a fight, but the cloaked man said nothing to him, instead reaching over and plucking the apple from Kyd’s hands and vanishing again. Kyd raced to teleport back to the surface to get his food back, only to see the man kindly place it back into the woman’s basket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>wailing</span>
  </em>
  <span> basket- she had a child with her, a baby. A baby that probably needed food much more desperately than Elliot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man watched the woman walk away before turning and staring right at Kyd with a single piercing eye before walking off. Kyd immediately took after him, catching up to the silently grumpy man easily, already pestering him about how and what and why he did, all while tugging on his robe like an incessant child. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, the man halted and stared at Kyd piercingly once again, though Kyd stood his ground this time. After a beat of silence, the man began walking again. Kyd followed him, questioning, demanding, talking, for what seemed like miles and miles and miles. Sunset turned into a chilling night, when finally, after hours of silence in return for his talking, a fourteen year old Elliot Knight passed out from exhaustion in the warm sand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Deadbird could’ve left him to die, hopelessly wandering the sands, lost. But instead, he vividly remembers Deadbird picking him up and hoisting him to sleep on his shoulders like a kid again, and continuing on his trek as Elliot quietly snored. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took Elliot a long, long time of wandering around with Deadbird to reach an understanding of him, and Elliot still never completely understood him. He never spoke but once, but he taught Elliot that the world was too important to communicate through fickle speech. The world was all connected, like a never ending ecosystem of animals simply searching for their place. He had some weird connection with the scorpion that always crawled out from his cloak and onto his neck. A lot like the connection he taught Elliot to have with a caracal that Elliot had spared instead of hunting when they were traveling through Algeria. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Deadbird was the only person to hear of Elliot’s full story, from start to finish. He didn’t turn Elliot away. Instead, in front of the fire they’d made somewhere in south Sudan, Deadbird reached a cold, bony hand out to bring Elliot closer, and let him fall asleep in his cloak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Elliot turned fifteen, Deadbird spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He asked if Kyd was planning on running his entire life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s the reason Kyd had loved Deadbird so much. Out in the vast, empty plains of northern Africa, there was no reason to stay at all. Life </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> running. Nothing mattered but the formation of the stars that night. To see another person in your wandering was an unnatural phenomenon. Life was running, and learning from the animals, and listening to the wanderers you met, and forgetting everything bad that ever happened in your past.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Deadbird asked him what he wanted. Because Elliot couldn’t stay with him forever, as much as Deadbird desired him to. Elliot had made a wonderful partner in his nomadic lifestyle, but the blistering heat of the Sahara, the volatile nature of Libya, none of those places were places for a teenager- a child. At the end of the day, Deadbird was a mercenary who took any job offered. He refused to influence Elliot more than he already had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elliot told him he wanted to see America. No one remembered much of anything in America. Elliot could blend into the shadows there. He could disappear, for good. No more attachments, no more petty emotions, no more anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Deadbird hated to see him go, but told him that he’d travel with Elliot to the tip of the continent to make his vast teleporting easier, as a rite of passage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He never spoke again after that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The journey was long, and hard. Elliot wanted to give up so many times. Deadbird had never pushed him so hard in his life to get through deserts and other obstacles. There were times Elliot would rather have been dead than to have to see sand or jungle or whatever else in his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elliot made it there the day he turned sixteen, and left it all behind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now he was here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d met Blood in America, the worst decision of his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elliot had lost everyone- </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyon</span>
  </em>
  <span>e. Who would come to save him now? He ran until he lost breath, and someone finally got the smarts to kick him while he was down. At least here he couldn’t bring pain to anyone else other than himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt fitting, that he’d die in the never ending cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Watching his one warmth walk away. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. When You Held Me And Swore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Kyd woke up, he was gasping for air. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead,</span>
  </em>
  <span> why wasn’t he </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were voices all around him- griping over how long they’d been frozen, or how much hate they harbored for the titans, or whatever else mattered to them at that moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elliot didn’t know what he expected to see. He looked up with eyes shining, ready to burst into tears-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t Joseph that had saved him. Not this time. He’d made sure Joseph would</span>
  <em>
    <span> never </span>
  </em>
  <span>have the chance to save him from himself ever again when he abandoned him in Tibet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Expecting someone else?” Came the bitter rasp of an old friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jinx looked down at Kyd with an expression he could only describe as sorry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. I know.” Jinx said before Kyd could even get defensive. “Look... I missed you all. You don’t have to forgive me. I don’t care.” Jinx said bitterly, at the entire HIVE now instead of just Kyd, who was already plotting revenge on the girl who’d betrayed them all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd blocked them all out as they argued with Jinx when he heard a small ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>crunch’ </span>
  </em>
  <span> under his feet. Under his boot lay a single, crushed chrysanthemum. Kyd picked it up so delicately it was like he expected it to shatter on touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He missed you, too.” Jinx said quietly, snapping Kyd from his thoughts. Kyd whipped around to her with a defensive sneer. “What could you know about-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“More than you, apparently! </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn’t abandon the only person who’s ever loved me back!” Jinx boomed, realizing the karma in her words as they left her mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just shut up, okay? You want to know why I know? He told me. After you left he’s shut tighter than a tomb and practically begging people just to listen to him all at the same time.” Jinx said bitterly, glaring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd couldn’t do much more than emptily blink at Jinx, then at the flowers in his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Who brought them here? Jinx certainly didn’t. Joseph may be begging for people to talk to but he wouldn’t have shared that, ever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The flowers were fresh, as well. The villains had been frozen for months now. Someone would have had to </span>
  <em>
    <span>repeatedly</span>
  </em>
  <span> come back and replace the precious rare flowers down at his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It couldn’t have been Joseph, Joseph hated him, and for good reason.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Didn’t he? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I’m sure you’re all upset, or confused, or…” Jinx side eyed Kyd. “...lost...but, you aren’t...bad guys. Not really. You rob computer stores and gas stations. The biggest schemes you ever accomplished is when </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> made the plans. I’m just saying…” Jinx trailed off, looking away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I guess.” The HIVE froze. Jinx had </span>
  <em>
    <span>never, ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>apologized for anything she’d ever done in her life. But here she was, heart bare, apologizing to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd heard something like ‘I deserve this’ or ‘I missed you all’ or something or other dumb like that, but on his list of priorities Jinx was at the bottom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Joseph. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Joseph was at the top. Joseph and the reason this damnable flower was sitting at his feet like a memorial. If there was even a minuscule chance Joseph still harbored</span>
  <em>
    <span> any</span>
  </em>
  <span>thing for him…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd didn’t even let Jinx finish. He doesn’t know what happened between Jinx and the five when he teleported out, but he doesn’t care, either. Not when his entire mind is clouded by confusion and desperation and </span>
  <em>
    <span>hope</span>
  </em>
  <span> and- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Joseph.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took Kyd longer than he’d like to even get to Jericho. His body almost wouldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>let him</span>
  </em>
  <span> teleport straight to Tibet. He was too weak from the freeze. Maybe he was too weak minded as well. Either way, it at least gave him a chance to think about what he was doing- prepare for a complete emotional decimation of what was left of his fragile heart. Possibly prepare for any other physical injuries he should expect as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd rubbed his nose back and forth from where Jericho had broken it when they last met. He’d formed a </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> of a kick while Kyd was gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd was weak by the time he made it to the mountain. He wanted to collapse where he stood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A familiar scene, once he thought about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd struggled through the trees of the mountains before finally catching himself on the edge of the cabin before he could fall to his knees from exertion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He forgot how tranquil this place used to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was spring again. The wind was blowing languidly, suspiciously familiar flowers emerged out of the ground with every step that was out of sight of a tree. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Joseph sat with his back to him, in full lotus position, with the original chrysanthemums blooming at his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every step </span>
  <em>
    <span>ached</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Everything ached- his legs, his jaw, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>heart</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Technically, the fight happened months ago, but Kyd would never</span>
  <em>
    <span>, never</span>
  </em>
  <span> forget the way Joseph looked at him when he called him a monster, or the lack of hesitation to knock him out cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd tried to approach Joseph with some tact, maybe distance them, or say something calming, but his exhaustion caught up with him too quickly, and he only just had the energy to collapse to his knees next to where Joseph was sitting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a good long while Kyd simply stared at him, content to even be allowed this close again. His eyes were closed and brows focused as he meditated, and there was just something so </span>
  <em>
    <span>vastly different</span>
  </em>
  <span> between imagining long gone memories and seeing the real thing in front of him again. He almost felt like if he reached out and touched Joseph he’d fade away like just another memory. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before long Joseph’s closed expression got more and more frustrated, and his posed hands came to be shaking clenched fists.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I tried to tell you.” Kyd said before Joseph could blow up again. “I tried to tell you they were all right- that I was a monster. And now you know, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph’s tense muscles fell as he whipped around to look at Kyd with an expression he could only describe as ‘unbelievable’, with his eyes furious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Kyd could react Joseph punched him hard enough in the still achy and freezing shoulder to knock him over a bit and send him wincing and clutching his arm. For a moment Joseph’s expression changed to one of ridiculously intense worrying, immediately moving to pick Kyd up and softly touch his arm out of habit, but before he could reach him he froze as he realized what he was doing. Instead Joey’s entire face turned an angry red as he grit his teeth and glared, miming throttling Kyd’s throat in frustration and turning to stomp into the cabin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd weakly followed after, ignoring the purposefully slammed door to his face and immediately had to dodge a pillow being thrown at his head in the doorway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Followed by another. And another.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey- wait, just- STOP THAT-!” Kyd yelled frantically as he dodged and teleported- and got spiked in the face with- pillows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph was having none of it, he was absolutely furious. His face was still angry red and he looked like he was trying to glare Kyd off of the face of the planet while throwing anything his hands made contact with and getting more and more vexed with anything that didn’t make contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every pillow was gone until the couch was bare, discarded clothes, blankets, a stuffed animal, wooden kitchen utensils, anything within Joseph’s reach became a projectile as Kyd frantically tried- and sometimes failed- to dodge while uselessly trying to reason Joseph into calming down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’d moved from the doorway, to the living room, to the kitchen, and were now back on opposites sides of the living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joey angrily reached for a single glass vase Kyd had never noticed before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the </span>
  <em>
    <span>original</span>
  </em>
  <span> chrysanthemum, that Kyd had given him, placed inside it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop!” Kyd yelled finally bolting forwards and grabbing both of Joseph’s wrists before he could furiously throw it. Joseph nearly hissed at him and tried to jerk away in a scene too familiar to Paris.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you just- calm down and- JUST TALK TO ME!” Kyd boomed desperately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph swerved his entire body and looked like at Kyd with a blank yet grating expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S-Sign! I meant- sign…” Kyd grumbled embarrassedly with a sigh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph yanked out of his grasp and shoved him away, glaring for a moment before turning to stomp into his room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait- you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> I meant sign-! Jo-Jo!” Kyd’s pleading was met with the unmistakable sound of a door slamming with full force- accompanied by what was perhaps anything on the wall tumbling to the floor from the force. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd sighed at the bitter silence and the ridiculous mess the house was in. Broken frames, scattered pillows, thrown food…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Great job with the apology, really.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He spent the entire time yelling and dodging projectiles like a sparring dummy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe that’s the closest he’d ever get to Joseph again. He’d still take it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd looked out at the sunset in the distance of the house and the gathering snow outside before sighing again and walking over to the couch, sliding down to the cold wood floor in front of it and hitting the back of his head on the arm in frustration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The floor was freezing, and cold, and dirty. But he wasn’t moving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd sat there, legs pulled up between the leg of the table and the arm of the couch and fell asleep, shivering from the cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s what he deserved- to freeze here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd dreamed of times Joseph would beg him to stay the night and sleep in his room with him where it was warm. Elliot would tell him story after story as he drifted off, smiling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But instead, Elliot had gotten himself couched- or, well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>floored</span>
  </em>
  <span>, in the exact same house all those fond memories took place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His neck ached from the position, and he was cursed with full body shivers every few minutes, but he was just so, so tired from </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> that it wasn’t hard to fall asleep there, head hid in his arms on the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He woke up when a bright light shone in his face. There was no way it was morning yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bright light was actually a soft hazy orange. A candle Joseph was carrying as he looked incredulously at Kyd.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had vicious bags under his eyes- he hadn’t slept a wink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What are you still doing here?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joey signed, crouching on the floor facing Kyd and putting the candle down to free his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not again.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Kyd said, with more power than he’d ever felt in his life despite his squinting against the candle’s light.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It may have been a trick of the light, or how tired they both were, but Kyd swore he saw Joseph’s eyes glint with something - with </span>
  <em>
    <span>hope</span>
  </em>
  <span> - for just a second, before turning away and scrunching his eyes closed, seeming to force back tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph huffed and turned away, walking back into the dark while the flickering candle stayed, and Kyd helplessly watched the whole way until he disappeared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt like his heart was a spool of string, and Joseph seemed to have a steel grip on one end of it, tugging it further and further apart into nothingness the further he walked away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd drifted back to sleep for a few seconds, only to wake up when Joseph tenderly wrapped a blanket around his back and pulled him to sit on the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd went to smile and touch his hand, only for Joseph to frown hatefully at him and jerk away, moving to sit on the chair across of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph had never been this...cold. In temperature, in expression, in </span>
  <em>
    <span>heart</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked like he really did just...want Kyd out of his life. Forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You want to talk.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joseph signed jerkily, like every movement pained him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Let’s talk.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd was at a loss. And as usual, his stupid mouth moved before his brain could stop it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...What am I supposed to say?” He rasped, blinking at his own stupidity as Joseph started signing at the speed of light, tensing more and more with each sign, starting to stand up to glare spitefully at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How about anything! Or maybe- try “you finally got to see Paris” again! I don’t see you for months! Months- E-L-L-I-O-T, and that’s all you have to fucking say! Maybe- tell me why you left!</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph’s signs were getting sloppier and faster, but Elliot could fill in the blanks pretty well. There was a still silence in the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Elliot started chuckling. A deep, raspy, bitter laugh that wouldn’t seem to stop, he was grinning wildly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why are you laughing? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Joseph signed, letting the angry tension leave his body for only a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Elliot started </span>
  <em>
    <span>sobbing. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Shaking, heaving sobs that mixed in perfectly with the bizarre laughter as he bitterly tried to hide his tears behind his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why are you crying?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joseph signed worriedly, letting all tension leave his body as he was filled with dread.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>sob.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He cried, once or twice. But now he was sobbing with everything he had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just…-” Kyd interrupted himself with a small sniffle. “-</span>
  <em>
    <span>missed you so much</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Kyd looked up at him like Joseph had hung the moon itself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And this is…- y’know, the most </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing you can do.” Elliot chuckled, tears still streaming down his face. “Y-You know, facing off a demon- a </span>
  <em>
    <span>monster</span>
  </em>
  <span> and...telling him what he’s doing wrong.” Joseph flinched and his face hardened when Kyd said ‘monster’ this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Telling him he </span>
  <em>
    <span>shouldn’t be out in such weather</span>
  </em>
  <span>...or that I’m mixing the cake batter wrong… or… that I’m-” Kyd trailed off before breaking the laughter and full on sobbing into his hands, hiding himself from Joseph’s breaking gaze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph tried so hard to keep up the rough act, shoving him once or twice to try and get him to look up at Joseph’s signing before he gave up and gently lifted Kyd’s tear stained face from his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t been gentle with him like that in so long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not a monster. I should never have signed that.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joseph signed finally, glaring down at his own hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But. You can’t come back. Expect nothing bad. You left. It hurt. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Joseph continued to sign, but was interrupted by Kyd smiling dumbly at him with tears still flowing down his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I tell you something?” Kyd rasped with a sore throat from crying. “I never even expected to make it this far. I thought the minute I showed up you were gonna karate kick me off the cliff over there.” Joey snorted at the imagery of that for a quick second. “That’s gotta count for something, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph gave Kyd a serious look of thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you really wanted me gone forever I wouldn’t be here right now. We both know that. I won’t say I’m sorry. You deserve more than that.” Kyd rasped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t want you gone forever.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joey signed finally, after eons of silent looks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You hurt me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joey said, tears brimming his own eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>My heart...broke- thousands of pieces. Still not together again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m scared.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joseph signed desperately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If it breaks again. It won’t heal.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd stared for a good long moment before pulling out the single chrysanthemum he’d brought from Paris.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to worry about things happening like they did before. Because I don’t want to be anything like we were before.” Kyd said seriously, putting the chrysanthemum in Joseph’s hands then cupping them softly. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved </span>
  </em>
  <span>me. I know you did. I was just...so afraid of that- that I put you through the same pain I was trying to run from.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to love </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, this time.” Kyd said with a broken smile and an even raspier voice, placing their foreheads together in a familiar scene. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what I have to do- but I’ll do it- just- just tell me what to do-” Kyd babbled desperately, tears spilling faster now, his breath heaving with desperation for anything to do, anywhere to go-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd was interrupted by a soft hand being placed over his mouth, and another smudging away the tears on his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Was all Joseph mouthed, all tears and broken smiles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s all he’d ever wanted really. Someone to stay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elliot buried his head in Joseph’s shoulder, nodding fervently as he tried to steady his breathing. He wouldn't let Joseph see him cry anymore. The soft, familiar stroking of his hair helped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph led Elliot up to his room, gently never letting go of his hand as Elliot stumbled through the dark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’d been so long since Elliot and he had shared a bed, but it was still so warm- Elliot finally felt warm again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They fell asleep practically curled around one another, tears still drying on their faces, squeezing so tight it’s like they were each afraid the other would vanish into vapor if they let go. Elliot could barely breathe with how tight Joseph held him to his chest, but he didn’t care. Joseph smelled like </span>
  <em>
    <span>home</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph was </span>
  <em>
    <span>here. Elliot </span>
  </em>
  <span>was </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Joseph was real and not a memory and things were happy again- or at least on their way there, even if he had to worriedly wake up a few times and feel up and down Joseph’s arms to remind himself that he was here and he wasn’t dreaming again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elliot had never felt so tired in his life, and he could feel himself practically melting into the warm bed with Joseph as he dozed off for the final time that night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph would deny it in the morning, Elliot knew he would. But Elliot could feel Joseph softly stroking his hair and kissing the top of his head to help himself doze off- in the same warm way that he used to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were still a mess. He knew that. But right now Elliot couldn't think to do anything but sleep. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. You'd Stay, Stay, Stay.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Joseph woke up first, to the bright daylight coming in through the window. He breathed a bit and rubbed his eyes before Kyd grumpily stirred and mumbled something incomprehensible, smashing his face further into Joey’s chest to hide from the sun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joey couldn’t help but chuckle bitterly at them both. They looked worse for wear. They probably didn’t actually fall asleep until well after midnight, not to mention they were both still in uniform. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was something...astonishing about waking up to someone that Joey couldn’t place. Even when they were on better terms, Kyd almost never stayed until morning, always afraid of what would happen or what his team would say or this or that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joey found he liked being able to turn and move into the warmth of another person. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd grumbled in his sleep again as Joey (sadly) attempted to tame the bed head he’d given himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span> was he doing? Elliot had shattered him when he left. He was practically </span>
  <em>
    <span>asking</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be left heartbroken again. But he couldn't shake the things Elliot had said last night</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to love you, this time.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It kept bouncing around in his head and making his stomach flutter and his cheeks warm. He hated it. Elliot had hurt him, he couldn't just give right back into him. Even if the thought of waking up like this every morning- of never being alone again, gave him goosebumps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Smoothing down that specific tuft of hair and laying a feather light kiss on Elliot's forehead as he dozed felt all too right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though it took time and an extreme amount of willpower to not stay in bed with Elliot’s arms wrapped around him forever, Joseph finally managed to snake out of Elliot’s grasp and off the bed without waking him, knocking his head against the door when he made it out of the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was he doing? Elliot shouldn’t be sleeping in his bed. Elliot should never have been allowed to stay at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to love you, this time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That stupid phrase just wouldn’t leave him alone, so instead Joseph set out to find anything to distract him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which wasn’t hard, with the state the house was in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph had planned to set to work cleaning the house, but instead he mostly picked things up, remembered how mad he felt when he threw them, then tossed them somewhere else in a frustrated huff.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll never understand how you can just wake up that early </span>
  <em>
    <span>every</span>
  </em>
  <span> morning. It’s not even nine yet.” Elliot chuckled from the doorframe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph jerkily shrugged his shoulders, not even turning around to look at him. He missed how Elliot seemed to deflate in on himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I...made you- breakfast, or what I guess counts as it. I kind of had to guess on what most of the things in your pantry are.” Elliot stuttered, trying his hardest to shake off Joseph’s icy front with everything he had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time he got nothing in return, Joseph merely trying to snake past him to the kitchen to place the wooden spatula he’d thrown last night back into it’s container. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Kyd commanded, annoyed, as he grabbed Joseph by the shoulder before he could walk off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey…?” Kyd said softer this time when he saw that Joseph still refused to even look him in the eye. “What happened between last night and this morning? Did I...sleep wrong, or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Last night?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joseph signed hesitantly, glaring up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Yeah? Last night?” Elliot rasped desperately. “Last night when you held me like you used to- like I was a lifeline or something. Last night when you kissed me before you fell asleep- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Last night when you treated me like you loved me again.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Elliot pressed, more and more intense, desperate to know he didn’t imagine it all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph rolled his eyes at himself and huffed. Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course</span>
  </em>
  <span> Elliot noticed all that- it was Elliot. He’d just really been hoping he’d let it slip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a moment of weakness. It wouldn’t happen again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph shoved past him, putting the spatula back in it’s caddy before he could be tempted to hit Elliot with it again, sitting in front of the warm plate of eggs Elliot had...kindly made for him. Exactly the way he liked. Joseph sighed and looked back when he saw Elliot hadn’t followed him, and was instead glaring intensely at the spot on the floor Joseph was just standing in like it had the answers to life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Maybe...maybe he was coming off a little harsh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joey shuffled back over to Kyd, who weakly looked back at him like he expected Joseph to blatantly insult him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Like he would’ve just...taken it, if Joseph had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...Harsh.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joseph signed sadly, not looking up from the floor. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m...sorry. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph went to hug Elliot’s in apology, which Elliot only just melted into for a moment before grabbing Joseph by the shoulders and jerking him away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. You- You can’t just-” Kyd sighed, looking to the ground to gather his thoughts as Joseph scrunched his eyebrows in confusion at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>need to decide whether you still love me or not, too. Okay?” Kyd rasped, a warble in his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you’re the only one who got hurt when I left? It...It tore me apart, okay?” Kyd was close to tears again now, Joey could tell. He was looking away and creasing his brows like he’s angry, but his shoulders tensed in a certain way. Joey hated that he knew that by heart. “You can’t shrug me off like some dead thing all day then...just hug me like you used to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My heart broke too, I- I’m not excusing what I did. I thought...I thought I was protecting you- I thought I was protecting us both. But it </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed me </span>
  </em>
  <span>inside. You can’t just...play with my feelings, okay? I was torn apart too.” Kyd said, finally letting go of Joseph’s shoulders to scratch at his wrists nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to be here for you. But...I’m in the same condition you are, okay? If my heart breaks anymore…” Kyd trailed off, squeezing his fists together in an effort not to cry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m…” Kyd sighed dejectedly. “I’m gonna...try to get this place cleaned up.” He side stepped Jericho, going to pick things up and naturally put them back where they were.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> need you to think about it, okay? You can’t play with my feelings, even if you deserve to. I can’t take it.” Kyd rasped from where his back was to Joseph, walking outside to assert any damage there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph sighed and knocked his head against the wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe Elliot was right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe he was being shitty, trying to drag Elliot down to where Joseph thought he deserved to be. To where Joseph </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t know</span>
  </em>
  <span> Elliot had already been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph went to walk back into the kitchen to find the breakfast Elliot had made turned cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph sighed dejectedly for the hundredth time that day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph didn’t go back out to confront Kyd until a bit after noon. The snow had stopped but it was still plenty freezing, stuck to the ground the way it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shouldn’t be outside in such weather</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Joseph signed with a smile, nudging Kyd’s shoulder as he sat beside him. Kyd opened his eyes to look at the signs, but didn’t turn, didn’t smile back, did nothing but sigh sadly and close his eyes again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph probably deserved that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After little debate, Joseph got up from the wooden porch and sat on his knees in the freezing snow, ignoring the numbing sensation and the gross wetness that would inevitably seep into his pants. Joseph reached forward, attempting to hug Kyd like he used to only for Kyd to grab his arms and jerk him away with no hesitation, glaring sternly at him. Joseph desperately drew a hand over his chest, trying to communicate his feelings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He signed, causing Kyd to relent his glaring just a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Both...wrong. Both hurt the other. Didn’t realize it. Didn’t know.</span>
  </em>
  <span> ...</span>
  <em>
    <span>Tired of fighting. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Joseph signed, glaring down at the snow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Want to be happy again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph looked up with eyes shining at the last phrase.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tired of fighting. Want to love you again.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He signed before gently placing his hands against either side of Kyd’s face, curling them and bringing their foreheads together in the freezing cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Promise me.” Kyd whispered, eyes still desperately closed. It was almost comical, how stubborn he was not to show his emotions. “Promise me you won’t hurt me. I couldn’t take it. I’d just sit there and take it anyway, you know I would. For you. So promise me- you won’t take advantage of my heart. Please.” Kyd practically begged, holding Joseph’s hands against his face like they could hide the tears he felt forming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph simply nodded against Kyd’s forehead before smiling like a cheshire and lunging forward to wrap his arms around Kyd’s shoulders in a suffocating hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I missed you too.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He mouthed from where he’d buried his head in Kyd’s neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Kyd could react much, Joseph had already pulled away, pulling a large blanket around Kyd in the process so he’d stop mindlessly shivering from the cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Always so prepared.” Kyd teased, smiling softly. “What’s so funny?” he asked suspiciously when Joseph couldn’t stop smiling with warmth in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph lunged forward, grabbing Kyd by the chin and frantically kissing his cheek- seemingly for all the times he wasn’t able to over the past near year. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Christ-” Kyd snorted, only barely catching Joseph before he knocked him over. “You’re such a sap!” Kyd laughed, pulling Joey in closer anyway and wrapping them both in the blanket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They still had some stuff to work through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But yeah, they’d be okay.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. I Can't Do This Alone Anymore, 'Cause I'm No Good On My Own Anymore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Full disclosure this is very short and very fluffy but I wanted a real ending to the fic. So this one and the next chapter are very fluffy and very prologue-y.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Elliot had been acting suspicious all day- all month, to be fair. It wasn’t like him, and it wasn’t his usual “killed one of the potted flowers and afraid to tell” suspicious. This was different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’d been a near two and a half years since Elliot had decided he wanted a break- or maybe a quit all- from all the people and the problems he’d met in his life. He was cautious when Joseph first pitched the idea of just living together for a bit, or at least until Elliot decided he wanted to try again with less Kyd Wykkyd, Brother Blood, or HIVE Five. But all things considered, he’d never been happier. Elliot kept in vague contact with some of his friends, but altogether the supervillain life just never suited him in the first place. He didn’t have the want to be a hero, either, despite what Joseph told him. Elliot had never been a fan of people- so a life secluded on a mountain, with no noise besides the wildlife and the strumming of a guitar and the scratch of a brush against canvas - was like a dream come true to him. His routine now mostly consisted of helping Joseph with chores around the cabin, and helping make ties between Joseph and the village underneath them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And, when Elliot could convince him, bringing Joseph to see all the places he’d heard about for so long, and creating happier memories to overlap the bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elliot was happier here. He’d never liked people, or crowds, or cities. Living in the mountains with Joseph just made him happier. He smiled more, he laughed more, he slept a decent amount now that he could feel the real weight of Joseph there to protect him at night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which is why Elliot acting so suspicious threw Joseph for a loop, to say the least. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He'd been jumpy around him for the past month, avoiding him completely at times and making a habit of worrying his lip and biting his nails when he was lost in thought. It made Joseph worried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d thought they’d finally put to rest any problems between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d thought they could finally tell each other anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t Elliot being worried that worried Joseph, it was the implications that he felt like he needed to hide it from Joseph in the first place. He thought they were finally okay again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph was doing the normal chores, putting their clothes away when he found it. Joseph normally enjoyed taking their clothes from hanging in the sun to folding them and putting them away - if only because every time Elliot did it he basically threw them all into the drawer and called it a day. Elliot had been keeping him from doing it for the past month for one reason or another, and now he knew why. Joseph went to meticulously put away a shirt of Elliot’s when he felt something underneath the bottom of the drawer. Picking up the bottom, he found a small, hidden black bag. Velvet, barely large enough to fill his palm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the type of bag you’d hide stolen jewels, diamonds, coins, or anything else in the world in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph froze, his heart stopping as angry, furious tears pricked his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’d come </span>
  <em>
    <span>so far</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph stormed through the house like hell on earth, his emotions bubbling up at once like a furious volcano, making as much noise by stomping and slamming doors as he could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah- hey-?” Elliot said as Joseph stormed through the doors to the kitchen while he was sweeping, already holding his hands up in defense and trying to calm Joey down. “Hon- what’s wrong? What is it?” he asked in concern, leaning down to be at Joseph’s height and placing his hands on his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joey angrily jerked his shoulders away, shoving Kyd back before holding up the bag of stolen-whatever and signing with fury.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>WHAT were you thinking? What is this? We came so far, E-L! For what? For you to sneak out and steal- whatever the hell this is! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kyd was left nervously scratching the back of his neck and awkwardly making weak start-noises and stopping short as to not interrupt Joseph. Not to mention he was pattering his foot against the ground so fast it was like he was channeling his heartbeat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>E-L-L-I-O-T, I thought we’d changed! I thought we could finally tell each other everything again! I let you into my home, into my heart! We share a home, share a bed! Why couldn’t you even tell me that-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph was stopped short as Elliot quickly and nervously grabbed what was in the bag and placed it in Joseph’s pinched hand, bringing his own hands to nervously cover his mouth and stare down at the ground where his foot was rapidly tapping again as Joseph went wide-eyed and inspected the jewel in his hand - the </span>
  <em>
    <span>ring</span>
  </em>
  <span> in his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph’s hands were shaking as he turned it over and over in his hands like he expected it to crumble to pieces if he touched it too hard. It was simple in the most beautiful way. A standard gold band the same hue as his braces and belt, just a shade darker. The designs were on the inside, so it wasn’t too distracting or unassuming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never Alone</span>
  </em>
  <span> was curled against the strong gold in cursive on the inside, and Joseph finally let out a gasp of air he didn’t know he was holding as he traced it over and over and over again with the pads of his fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know someone in Dubai that does metalwork and- I wanted to ask you sooner but- I promise I didn’t steal it, I’ve been trading in some of the flowers for money with the village- it just never seemed like the right time and I would freeze up every time you looked at me and I didn’t know if it was the right time-” Kyd let out in all one breath as he viciously scratched his wrists and stared down at the floor with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was now Joey’s turn to attempt to capture Elliot’s attention without interrupting him, before he finally settled for laughing warmly and sealing him quiet with a tender kiss. Elliot melted with the kiss, his anxieties seeming to fade instantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- listen, I get it if- if you aren’t ready it’s just- we’ve already lived together for a while now and you- you make me happy and-” Kyd went right back to stuttering before looking at Joey with serious intent in his eyes. “-and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> I love you. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> I wanna be with you. I- get it, though. If you- don’t want that right now- or ever-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joseph closed his eyes with a wide smile and placed both hands on either side of Elliot’s face, bringing their foreheads together as he slowly nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What’s funny?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joey signed with a playful glare as he felt Elliot start to laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just- well, I proposed to you in our </span>
  <em>
    <span>kitchen</span>
  </em>
  <span> to avoid you probably throwing a spatula at me again when I had a million other ways planned and- s’just a pretty funny story to tell, I guess.” Kyd chuckled as Joey looked at him brightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Try again, if you want? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Joey signed with a matching chuckle. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll pretend to be surprised, I promise.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elliot snorted at that as Joey softly snaked his arms around him in a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sorry. For ruining your proposal. What was the plan? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Joey signed softly into Elliot’s back as Elliot swayed them and gently laid his head in Joseph’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you’ve kind of made a habit of going back to all those places with bad memories of mine, and making them good. So I figured we could make one last bad memory into a better one.” Elliot said softly as Joey scrunched his eyebrows and cocked his head at him. “You wanna- ‘finally get to see Paris’- a second time?” Kyd asked with a cheshire grin. Joseph couldn’t help but give an ugly snort at the memory, burying his face in Elliot before he could tease him for how red his face got as he laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were things to do- chores to get finished, issues to work through, proposals to be fixed, but right now was okay. Their arms wrapped around each other, Elliot chuckling and swaying them as Joey hid from the morning light in Elliot’s chest, yeah, today was okay. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Review please! There will be one more chapter and then the fic will be finished!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm updating this as I write it, to allow any suggestions for chapters anyone would want to see! This starts somewhere after HIVE Academy has fallen, but before Jericho becomes a very well-known hero. Reviews/Comments are very important to me and inspire me to write, please leave a review!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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